We want the best for our children. It’s why so many parents have difficulty making parenting decisions. After all, we’re only human. It’s natural to become frustrated with your children, especially if they’re acting out. However, according to the good parenting guide, how you express your dissatisfaction and deal with the situation significantly impacts their personality development and long-term health. In fact, strong parental discipline such as yelling can have a far greater influence on children than previously thought. Continue reading to understand what clinical research and the good parenting guide have discovered regarding the long-term impacts of yelling on children.
Yelling makes their behaviour problems get worse
You could believe that yelling at your children would solve an issue right now or prevent them from acting out in the future. However, evidence suggests that in the long run, it may be causing more problems. In fact, yelling can make your child’s conduct worse. To remedy it, you’ll have to yell louder. The cycle goes on and on. According to a survey on parent-child relationships conducted by Trusted Source, this is the case in many families. The study found that 13-year old who were yelled at by their parents increased their harmful behaviour levels over the next year.
And, if you think it matters which parent disciplines their child, you’re mistaken. Another research was conducted. According to Trusted Source, it makes no difference whether the tough discipline comes from the father or the mother. The end result is the same: behavioural issues worsen.
Yelling changes, the way their brain develops
According to the good parenting guide, Yelling and other harsh parenting methods have the potential to alter your child’s brain development. This is because negative information and events are processed more rapidly and completely than positive ones. According to one study, brain MRI scans of those who had a history of parental verbal abuse in childhood were compared to scans of people who did not have a history of abuse. They discovered an anatomical difference in the areas of the brain involved in sound and language processing.
Yelling can lead to depression
According to the good parenting guide, When parents yell at their children, they may feel wounded, terrified, or sad, but verbal abuse can also lead to more serious psychological difficulties that last until adulthood. Researchers discovered an increase in depressive symptoms in 13-year old who were screamed at in a study that followed their escalating behavioural difficulties. Several additional research has found a link between emotional abuse and depression or anxiety. These symptoms can exacerbate behaviour and possibly lead to self-destructive behaviours such as drug use or increased unsafe sexual engagement.
Yelling has effects on physical health
Growing up shapes us in various ways, some of which we may not even be aware of. Stress from a verbally abusive parent throughout childhood can increase a child’s risk of developing specific health problems as an adult. Stress as a child, according to good parenting guide, can have long-term effects on physical health.
Yelling can cause chronic pain
According to the good parenting guide, Negative childhood experiences, such as verbal and other forms of abuse, have been linked to the later development of painful chronic diseases, according to Trusted Source. Arthritis, severe headaches, back and neck issues, and other chronic pain concerns were among the ailments. It’s never too late to make a change in your parenting style or pick up some new skills. Ask for help if you find yourself yelling a lot or losing your cool. A therapist or even another parent can assist you in sorting through some of these emotions and developing a strategy for dealing with them more healthily.
What to Do with Your Anger Instead of Yelling
Recognize your rage as the first step toward calming down. “You activate your prefrontal cortex and prevent your spiralling emotions the instant you notice your anger” according to the good parenting guide. It’s all about switching your brain from emotion to thinking mode.
According to the experts, there are various options
- Take few deep breaths.
- Backwards count
- Place yourself in a running position.
- Make a shaking motion with your hands.
- Say as little as possible until you’ve regained your composure.
- Think positive thoughts to bring yourself back from the verge of yelling (i.e. “My child needs my help right now”)
- Submerge your hands in cold water.
- Even forcing a smile or a giggle can tell your brain that the situation isn’t life-threatening.
After you’ve calmed down, you’re ready to alleviate the problem rather than exacerbating it. This is tackling the event that first angered you calmly and thoughtfully by stating something like, “Let’s try a do-over.”, according to the good parenting guide. It takes time and practice to stop yelling, and for most of us, it takes a lot of time and practice to stop the ineffective and hurtful behaviour finally. However, practical parenting advice teaches that having a close bond with your child makes it much simpler to avoid yelling. Working on your bond when you aren’t in the midst of a stressful scenario is a good place to start.
After all, as a good parenting guide points out, enjoying and accepting our children for who they are already makes parenting more satisfying for both mom and dad. “It’s far more satisfying to be amazed by who your child is than to be disappointed by who they aren’t.”
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